2004-01-30 - 5:11 p.m.

Geez, can't believe it's been so long since I've added anything in here. I wrote in here before my cruise! Wow. Alaska was awesome, and I wish I could take another cruise right about now. Grrr, where do I even start? My life on a scale of 1-10....it sucks! Well, I started school. I really like it, but it's so frustrating! It's completely different from anything else I've ever done before. I'm a 2D artist, and was gearing for 2D animation. Well, obviously 3D is the way to go these days, but it isn't quite the same. I figured I'd better jump in the game or I'll never get anywhere in the animation biz. It's kind of depressing, though. Especially since they just close the FL branch of WDFA. :( What a bummer. I'd rather do a Lilo and Stitch any day, but gotta get with the times, right? I keep watching Finding Nemo to get myself psyched up. (LOTR was pretty cool, and it'd be fun to do special effects as well.) I enjoy it but creating this stuff is pretty hard so far. Rather math-y....hopefully this is just the basis for the art stuff later on. Hopefully I'm not giving myself enough of a chance. (There goes that low self esteem things again.) And work....grr....they are just taking me for granted, I swear! Every weekend I bust my butt because we have no help...don't get a thank you or anything! I go way above and beyond. It sucks, 'cause I really love Disney, but this is getting pathetic. I finally got to talk to a manager today who will actually listen to me, so hopefully things will get better. i miss my family, and some of them are having problems. It sucks that they're on the other side of the country....kinda puts a crimp in visiting. Plus I never seem to get to hang out with anyone with my crazy schedule. Although someone else could make the effort for once. Like, a group went out this morning for breakfast. True, with class and my work schedule today I wouldn't have been able to go, but someone could at least have asked me. 3 of my good friends went and not one said a peep to me. Ah, I miss my best friends....the ones who are there for me no matter what. Too bad they're either out of state or the country. And with this whirl-a-fun schedule I never get to see my husband. Maybe I'm whining, I don't know. I just feel like I'm struggling and it's not getting any better. I'm tired of being poor all of the time! I miss the old days, when I could hang out, go on dates and not have a care in the world. I could take vacation whenever and not worry about it. Oh yeah, and my computer is completely screwed up as well. and right about now I'm really needing it. I'm waiting for the whole thing to go crazy. (Uh, better knock on wood.) Luckily I have the school computers so I'm not completely out of there. Class is about to start so I should actually do some work, huh? Best thing I guess is to put it all in God's hands right now and let him be in control. At this point I sure as hell can't seem to control anything.

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