2004-03-13 - 2:31 a.m.

I've been thinking a lot. So, here's my ramble. I started my animation school, and it's pretty neat. Something I realized, though, (even before I started), is how guy-dominated the whole animation world is. It's interesting, because when I was younger, I always thought of art as a more female-oriented thing. In the 2D world, it's also male-dominated, but there is getting to be a bigger mix of females in there. For some reason, the 3D world is very male dominated....maybe because it's more computer-related. That's not always a bad thing....hey, whoever's best for the job should get it, right? The thing is, it makes it harder for us females to get a foot in the door when everything is perceived as "better with guys." My animation class has maybe 25 people in it....and there are 3 girls. I was told one of the classes had 5 girls to start with and only 1 ended up graduating. It's a little intimidating, and I definitely feel the pressure to do well. To quote Gene Krantz, "Failure is not an option." Well, at least not for me. I have so much riding on this I HAVE to do well. I just notice some of the things the guys say, and I don't think some of them are ready to have female competition or aren't sure how to act around females. And when we call them out on something or want clarification (or get angry when we're not being answered straight up), you can tell their brain clicks to that "Oh, they're just emotional females." It's just rather interesting to see how the male mind works in a more "professional" type setting. Now don't get me wrong, some guys are totally cool with having women around. There's just that select few that are not sure how exactly to take us. When my friend and I get frustrated with the computer program and crack to each other "It's broken...a guy made it", they are taken back, because they aren't used to getting "busted" on. Having us in the class shakes things up, and in a good way. For me, I have to learn all I can for the long haul. I have to be at the top of my game when leaving school. When trying to enter into the world of animation, it will be that much harder and I'll have to prove myself even more because I'm a female. I'm not talking sexism (whole different ballgame); just that being a minority brings you under more scrutiny. For instance, in my class, we're the ones that are easier to single out (notice) because we're female. So if we're messing up at our job later on, we're going to be noticed a lot quicker, being one of the fewer females. So, in other words, I have to learn for my future. If I take a bit longer on a project or are a bit slower at learning it, it's because I'm trying to take in all the knowledge I can and do the best I can. That's how I can be the best student and come out on top. My classmates and teachers are great....I just notice the differences between the sexes and how each one thinks through things. There's even a difference between those of us that are 2D artists and the others who are just computer guys. It's just something that's been roaming around in my head. Hopefully this all makes sense. I just wanted to put it down on virtual paper.

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